Working with others often makes us feel like we need to be able to read minds to understand where they are coming from, avoid pitfalls or steer clear of unnecessary conflict. This is likely to be especially true while we are remote working, feel under pressure or are stressed. It becomes harder to 'read between the lines' and gauge how our colleagues and clients are feeling. But rather than wait until something is 'brewing', regularly asking your team feedback questions can help understand what is really going on, and show that you care about those that you work with as individuals. The answers that they give you (ideally) turn into an open conversation about what is important to them and this can then be turned into action for the team as a whole.
But what questions are good ones to ask? I have listed below my current top five favourites.
1) How are you doing this week? How happy are you this week, if 1 is not very and 10 is extremely happy?
By asking team members directly how they are doing, you not only get an insight into what is going on in their lives and how stressed they might be, you also give them permission to be genuine - and have both good days and not so good days. Feeling cared for and accepted on the days when you are struggling, provides a very human, compassionate side of leadership. It also inspires trust and loyalty in individuals - and means that when they have really good days, they will go the extra mile to support the team. Another benefit is, that by having this insight, it can help you plan ahead - if your team is generally happy and full of energy you can go ahead and schedule the launch of a major client or project. If, on the other hand, they are all telling you how they are struggling at the moment and stressed out, you might want to wait a couple of weeks until things are better. And if you can't wait, then at least you are going into the product launch with your eyes wide open and may be able to put other measures in place to support your teams through the stress.
2) What is the best thing that has happened to you this week (inside or outside of work)?
This question is designed to allow employees to brag a little bit about what they have achieved at work; it also gives you an insight into what is important to them and in how far their values align with the values and direction of the team or company. By allowing them to talk about their home life (if they want to), you get an insight into the person that they are outside of work and can start to build up a human connection that will allow you to be more in tune with how they work, what additional challenges and struggles they may be facing or juggling and what matters to them. You might learn that one employee regularly survives on a couple of hours sleep each night, because they have a newborn, or that they have a passion for deep sea diving or exquisite cooking or they have a hidden talent that the wider team could learn from.
3) What can we do to help make you more successful? What are you struggling with?
You or your HR team might have a clear understanding of what skills, behaviours and talents your team requires, but by asking them the question directly and getting your team involved, you can learn so much more. Not only in terms of what skills matter most to them (and that they would therefore prioritise), you can also start to gauge what their longer term aspirations are: are they ready for the next career phase and hungry to learn new skills, or are they stuck with some of the basics they need for their current role? Sometimes they might just need a meeting with you, or a buddy, mentor or coach. It also allows them to be honest about things they might be struggling with early on and get the support they need without feeling judged. By asking, you allow them to be honest and take an active role in making them the best they can be for the organisation, the team and themselves.
4) If this was your organisation, or were leading the team, what is one thing that you would do differently? What constructive feedback would you give me?
This question is an interesting one - and may require a bit of courage on the part of the leader to ask. But if you do dare to ask it, you may be surprised at the validity and helpfulness of the answers you get. It may give you some powerful insights into how you can help the company or the team succeed. By empowering others to voice their ideas, you foster a sense of ownership and leadership at all levels of the organisation. It will also give individuals permission to voice slightly 'off the wall' ideas to innovate and move the team and organisation forward. Finally, any constructive feedback team members give you (although potentially hard to hear), can be incredibly powerful. Not only does it offer an opportunity for you to grow, it also shows you whether your team is aligned with the organisation's values in terms of what matters in a leader. And finally, it may help you identify your leaders of the future - as it takes a certain amount of skill, confidence and courage to give constructive feedback well - especially to those that manage you.
5) What great things have other team members achieved this week?
By allowing (and reminding) team members to brag about each other, you can encourage a sense of team work and collaboration rather than 'tit for tat' and competition. The team is only as good as the sum of its parts, so by giving everyone a chance to focus on the achievements and positives of colleagues can help build a sense of togetherness and mutual appreciation. It might also help increase indirect recognition*, that is particularly powerful and is done far too little.
*indirect recognition is where you talk to a third party about something that a team mate has done well, ideally when they are in earshot.
And one more, because I couldn't resist - How is the team's morale at the moment?
By asking individuals how they think overall team morale is (as opposed to just how they are feeling), you get to understand not only how the overall mood of the team is, you also get a sense for how cohesive your team is - do they even know how others are feeling? Or is everyone so caught up in their own projects and deadlines that they are failing to look beyond these? By understanding what is really going on, you can make informed choices about how to support the team, how collaborative they really are and how much stress they can take right now.
Asking these (or similar) questions of your team regularly can be hugely insightful for you and allow your team to grow into an engaged, innovative, collaborative, high-performance group of individuals that feel valued, recognised and genuinely cared for. It will also help you become an effective, compassionate leader. As always, I would love to hear how you get on.
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